I really don’t like when two people like each other, or two people are friends, then something small happens, and it changes everything. Like if that small thing was something so effective that it actually caused people to separate from each other. I don’t see why life works that way. People are weird when they’re lonely. They’re like babies almost. Like babies, they need someone there, to care for them, or just be with them. And when no one is there, they cry. Why would anyone push someone away for something small? This isn’t specifically a situation I’m going through right now, but it’s happened a lot of times in my life. One day I’m friends with someone, we talk, we laugh, we do everything together. Then one day they’re gone. I mean the people are still around living their own lives, but they’re gone from your own life. And I hate the after feeling. At first it’s like, “its fine, things happen” then it hits you and you realize how lonely you really are. It’s strange that feeling. It’s almost as if you’re never the same after someone leaves your life. I think when someone leaves, part of you erases. Like a video game. You get to a high level, then something happens, and you lose. So you have to start all over again. I feel like that sometimes, as if I’m playing a video game all the time and I keep losing. You only realize things are so bad after you find your loneliness. It’s always been there but it was just hiding. In the back of everything you ever hated. I feel sometimes like everyone is dead. All my old friends, all the people I ever fell in love with. Sometimes I feel like they’re actually dead, so that’s my excuse. They’re dead so I can’t fix anything; although I could. I don’t like losing friends. I’m never the same after. I feel like I’m literally re born everytime.

I shouldn’t be allowed to feel anything. No one should be allowed to feel anything. Life would be so much better if everyone was cold, and didn’t think so much about their love lives, their problems, their sadness. I’d prefer to be nothing. Because nothing gets everything. By that I mean nothing can be anything without getting attached to something. Nothing can fall off a cliff and still be alive once it hits the ground. If I were nothing I wouldn’t be able to feel happiness or sadness.

I haven’t cried in a long time and now it seems like I’ve been crying a lot lately. especially in the shower and it’s making me really sad.

i’ve been drunk too much and i’m getting all depressed and worried again

I used to think before a lot about certain things and now it’s like those things never even cross my mind. I’m not totally obsessed or totally happy when something happens, it’s weird because i could’ve sworn that I’d never be where I am today. I could’ve sworn that I’d be stuck in that same hole for the rest of my life. but i learned that people need space, and if you don’t give them any, they turn mean and angry. I just realized that I’ve moved on from something that i thought would be so difficult but i did it and it’s so weird that I’m able to talk and not feel like I’m totally stuck and attached.

Listen to this. This song is simply perfect, the lyrics are wonderful. I usually listen to the acoustic version, but this version is actually beautiful as well.
Lyrics:
 waiting for the sun but i know that it'll come
i feel reborn when you touch my arm
whole new view, feel better when i talk to you
i get scared with what i wear
and even when you yell i still love your belly
it's true
riding it through the night
straight through

it still feels new when i talk to you
i feel reborn when the sun gets warm
it's hard but i feel better when i'm not inside
i get scared you'll leave me soon
even though we call each other every afternoon
it's true
it took a little time but i know you

i'm not bored at all
you can call me when you want to call

i used to want to show you every single line
now it's hard for me to show you anything i write
i know that i get nervous when we're not alone
but i wait for you for hours when we're coming home
when we started talking i got so excited
and i swear i tried to go out every single night
i know that you will always be the one who's my

spirit desire
spend my time
tell me that you're always going to be my life

i'm not bored at all
you can call me when you want to call

Tigers jaw

Actually starting to have some unhealthy obsession with Tigers Jaw. I've always liked them but their music is literally getting me through the day lately and I honestly can not stop listening to them.